Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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