shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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