And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize