@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
