nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
