omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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