is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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