everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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