can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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