i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He felt like a one man threesome
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
