she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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