He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
