doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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