I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
