Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
