Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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