living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
