I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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