whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
