Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
