I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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