After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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