My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
