I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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