C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Porn is love you can see.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
