do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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