He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
