just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
