After last night, I could never be a politician.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
