Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
