i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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