i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
