No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
