i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
