i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
