Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sober January is a disaster.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
