at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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