I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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