I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
