How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
