gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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