At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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