never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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