Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
