my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Every concussion has its silver lining
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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