He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she peed on how many people?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
