what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize