I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
