Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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