I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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