Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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