am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I did not marry a roomba.
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