What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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