i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
