I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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