What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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