I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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