why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
