on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
