8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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