i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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