a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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